Thursday, September 08, 2005

Top Ten Investment Tips to get ready for the Moshiach Era

By the grace of G-d
The Kosher Top 10

Top Ten Investment Tips to get ready for the Moshiach Era
by Zev from Jerusalem


10. Stay away from defense and biotech companies: stock prices are going to plummet once war is abolished and the sick are miraculously healed.

9. Corner the commodities market on frankincense, myrrh, techelet...

8. Buy Israeli real estate. Prices are going to skyrocket when the dead come back to occupy the land. (For the best bargains, grab up land in the "occupied territories"- namely Jordan, Iraq, Syria...)

7. Sell swords, buy plowshares.

6. Make friends with as many Cohanim as possible. With proper planning, you could eat BBQ every day for the next thousand years!

5. A ticket to Israel. Duh!

4. If you are a media mogul, buy broadcast rights in the Beit Hamikdash. Succot services will get better ratings than the Super Bowl!

3. Get in on The amount of people bidding on things such as the shofar used by Moshiach, Moshaich's robe, Moshiach's donkey's dung are going to be insane. Fakes and replicas are gonna drive this industry to the max.

2. Torah and mitzvot have always been considered surefire blue chip assets.

1. Who cares about investing. Aren't the Goyim supposed to support us?


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L. W. C.
This concept was my idea over a year ago, and I specifically mentioned #10 to friends as early as January 2003. I sincerely hope this helps,

From CH
sell airline stocks, airplanes will be replaced by new hi-tech clouds and eagle wings, causing the few remaining airlines to go bankrupt

From Jonathan Z., Los Angeles, CA
- Invest in media. CNN will eat this up 24/7, that is until the Kobe Bryant Case begins.
- Invest in commodities (just not pork). If what they say is true, and the B"M sacrifces thousands of animals a day. The livestock industry is going to be huge.
- Invest in obgyn medical practices. The intense trauma in seeing all this will call for 2 things: 1) increase in births 2) Increase in conversions -- and they need circusmisions to get in the club
- Invest in the candle industry. If every jew needs to light shabbos candles, that place in Tzfat with the bees wax is gonna make a killing.
- If the Dead are going to be revived, that makes the term Life Insurance tough to understand. Might want to look into the fine print on those policies
- Invest in Plastic Surgury/Dentistry - the undead are gonna need alot of dental work.
- Invest in ulpan/language co's. Every single jew in the world needs a refresher course in Hebrew.
(While the above is reprinted from the Jewish humor site at least some of the tips here are dead on. :-)
Long Live our Master our Teacher and our Rebbe King Moshiach Forever and Ever!

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